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April 22, 2012



I'd be keen to hear of others ideas too. We have a similar thing with out three :)


mmmmm this is a tricky one!!!

at kgtn we make sure the follower gets a SAY in games sometimes...listens into chatter and makes sure no one is TOO BOSSY!!!
give them a chance to lead
share their ideas
gets their thoughts out there
and BE HEARD...that is important....
make sure the others listen!!!

i sit to the side and listen in and get involved if needed.....Hey H....S was telling their idea...hold on let them have their say!!
or hang on...how about S tells us what they think!!!

or maybe get your kids to plan a day/event and let them see each other shine...in charge... with good ideas!!!

though sibling rivalry is un-beatable!!! its gonna happen!!! maybe just try and minimize the fights/words/name calling....if that happens!!!

i do this though as a teacher with kids aged 3 and 4 (trust me 4 year old girls are nasty!!!!) and ive had a good night sleep and i aint connected to the children so these are just ideas!!! xxxxxxxxxx


Yes, we had the same dynamic in our family (maybe even more so since there are just the 2 of them ... nobody else to play with when they get tired of each other). From a very young age, Tyler idolised his big brother. He still does, to some extent, but over the past year or so we have noticed him developing more of his own interests and not always wanting to copy Ethan or follow in his footsteps. He's getting more confident about being himself, even if that's different to his brother. So I think a lot of it comes down to age (particularly the age of the younger sibling) although I think personality also plays a part as well. I'm sure that over time, Dan will become 'himself' more and more, and you'll notice less of a difference in how he behaves when Matt is not around. I'm starting to see that now with my boys, Tyler's personality is a lot more constant, whereas before he would act quite differently when on his own.


hi Trina yes i notice it alot esp with the twins its great to get one alone for the day, they enjoy being with me alone
i also notice when their older sister Brianna is with them she winds them up so they behave differently, its great how kids can have sleep overs good for us parents too

Brenda Grant

Hi Trina, your post sounded like you live in my house. My 3 boys 10yr & twins 6yrs seem to fight and bicker continiously but get them one on one and they are great company. I hope its just part of growing up and the brotherly love thing will kick in as they get older! Matt and Dan seem to have a genuine caring relationship for each other. I introduced "chosing time" so the kids all take turns at staying up 30min later and chosing what they would like to do with mum & dad. Its a great way to have one on one time.


I guess it's just human nature. We all change ourselves and act a little differently around different people. It's a good thing to know how to adapt. I think Dan will grow more with age, naturally becoming more comfortable with his place in the world. Keep on encouring him, loving him, and telling him how great he his and how good his ideas are. Make sure he has a 'voice' in family discussions, and encourage Matt and Sarah to take turns with him to direct play times. You and Andy are great parents and doing an awesome job:)


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