The other day we decided to go for a walk along the beach.
It was a beautiful day. The first in a long time. And even though Dan had a cold we decided it was worth the chill, for the sun.
Dan had been warned not to go in the water. But decided in all his '4 year old montserism' to splash in the puddles and get wet and cold anyway.
Andy rather gruffly started to tell him off. I was a little way ahead with Sarah.
But as Andy did his job as a father a group of 3 women walked past. One of them decided to voice her opinion on Andy's fathering very loudly.... 'Oh for goodness sake, he's at the beach, take off his shoes if you're worried about them raderadera'
She was still going as she approached Sarah and I. And I in all my infinite wisdom decided to say something to her.
"Oi, excuse me, but that's really unneccessary".
And in reply I was told "Oh, I'm just trying to help you parent".
WHAT THE?! As you can see by those large typed letters, I was enraged. And of course I decided I needed to reply.
"Hey, you don't know what's going on in our lives".
It had me shaking. Really shaking. What did this person think? Did she have kids? Why did she think she could tell me, us how to parent? Who's business was this?
After all she didn't know that my gorgeous carefree child running through puddles had a cold. That we were trying to keep him warm so he didn't get sicker.
She also didn't know that this wonderful child running and giggling had literally turned into a monster that previous week and we were having to be 'good' parents by teaching our child what his boundaries are.
She also didn't know that I go through bouts of panic about whether I am a good parent so anyone criticising my parenting brings on worry, fear and all those good things.
Andy and I talked about it. I did the normal should I / shouldn't I have said anything. And then we decided to use it as a good lesson. For me, for Andy and for Sarah.
You see in all our great parenting skills, we've been trying to help Sarah see that she needs to stop interfering in issues between Matt and Daniel. They need to work things out themselves. She can't always be the mother. She needs to be a girl. Having fun, carefree. Relaxed. Not worrying about them all the time.
She saw how much this woman's opinions affected me and we were able to directly use this as a comparison.
So while I'm still shaking from the horrible experience I had, I think it helped us all. It certainly taught me alot about not judging other people.
For unless you have walked a mile in that persons shoes, you do not know what is going on in them.