Last night

Last night was one of those surreal nights. The ones where you get a phone call and your life is changed forever.

Unfortunately, we were expecting this phone call, and we were hoping it wouldn't come. That the doctors would fix him and a miracle would happen.

It didn't.

Last night my training mentor and friend died. He had cancer and it all happened far too quickly for us (which I guess is really a blessing).

As I went for a walk this morning I couldn't stop thinking of Gary and all he meant to Andy and I. That he was our first neutral friend (ie who didn't know our previous partners). How giving he was, how much he cared for his friends. How much he gave to everyone around him. And then I kept remembering that he wasn't here anymore. And it seemed silly to be walking in this amazing weather, watching birds pull worms out of the ground and fly away happy with their catch for the day. Watching boats on the harbour, and cars driving along, like nothing has happened. And I guess for them it hasn't. But for me it has.

Sometimes I wonder why things happen when they do, when you are already struggling with an emotional burden, Xmas, daily life and something like this drops on top, as if to say heck, you're coping too well, try this for size.

I fight it and I get angry and I cry, but it does no good.

I wish. And that does no good either.

I eat, and that really does no good. LOL.

And then I sit and think of him, the good memories. The times we all shared together. The fun we had. I remember by taking a wander through my mind and see him as he wanted to be remembered. And I am grateful. Grateful he was my friend. Our friend. Grateful to have Gary in our lives, even is for only a short time.

As the Nat King Cole song goes. You are unforgettable. You will always be remembered.

Goodbye Gary.

Comments

[Penny]

I'm sorry Trina. (HUG)

Not sure there is always a reason behind the timing of these things beyond what time/chance/laws of physics & human capacity controls. It doesn't always solve anything to stress about the reason.

The end of a year, end of a life but also the end of suffering and pain. I don't think the blessing of having known someone as a friend really ends though, so long as you have those memories stored away.

Why not get one of the clear Christmas ornaments and put his photo inside to reuse every year on your tree? A nice little memory keeper. :)

It always feels bizarre when everything else continues on as if nothing momentous (to you) has happened. I feel like telling people off! LOL! But that wouldn't help either. ;)

[Bronwyn]

Thinking of you

[Debbie]

I am sitting here with tears in my eyes as I know that sometime next year I will be writing this same post....It really makes you think how unfair life can be and to treasure everyone with every single moment you have!

Big hugs to you and Andy Trina!

[mandyb]

**HUGS*** coming your way NOW....

[Kelly]

So very sorry to hear this Trina... thinking of you all.

[Ann]

Life can really be very unfair sometimes.
We had to go to the funeral of a friend last Saturday so I can understand how you must be feeling....It's not nice.

Sending a big hug your way, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news, my condolences to you and Andy.

[topkatnz]

So sorry for your loss ... a wakeup call; especially at this time of year.

[Trace]

Oh Trina, sorry to hear about Gary. How lucky you were to have someone so special in your lives, and what lovely memories you have now.

[Trace]

Oh Trina, sorry to hear about Gary.

[Raewyn A]

Trina and Andy,

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Go ahead and celebrate your friendship.
Raewyn

[Beverley Cunningham]

Hi Trina

Sorry about your loss Trina - I lost my favourite BIL two years ago (14th December and only in his forties) to cancer too. He was in my life from when I was little and he was an amazing person. Think about the good times and let yourself grieve too. Thinking of you.

[Rachel]

My thoughts are with you and your family. It is so hard to loose someone but it seems so much harder at this time of the year.
*hugs* to you all.

[Hannah]

Big ((hugs)) Trina - I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

[Mary Bennetts]

Sorry to hear of your loss Trina, its hard to work life out, and why these things happen. We have had 3 funerals in the last couple of weeks, and all relatively young people. All we can do is treasure the memories and be thankful that these special people came into our lives and touched them in some way and have them forever in our hearts and to know they are only a thought away. We still feel very sad that they are no longer here physically though. Sending you a hug Mary

[Cindy]

I'm sorry for your loss Trina *hug*

[Lyn Dwyer]

Hi Trina,

My thoughts are with you and Andy during this sad time.....sounds like Gary came into your lives for a reason.......so remember the special memories you have of him .....and just remember that memories last forever and no can take them away from you.......treasure those special moments and the friendship you developed with Gary......((( hugs from across the sea )))

[Janet]

So sorry Trina. I can feel for you as we farewelled a wonderful friend only two weeks ago who succumbed to cancer at 59. He was with my wonderful husband Barry just 5 years ago at our farm, when he suffered a massive heart attack and died too at 55. It is unbelievable to think less than 5 years later Johnno has gone too.My 5 beautiful kids and their families keep me going and I always dwell on the wonderful times.{ I sat beside you at Create 08 on Saturday}. We will all be together for christmas for the first time since that very sad christmas so we are planning on making the most of it Our 4 grandchildren that have come along since then will give us lots of joy. You will feel some sadness this year but try to remember all the happy times. It does help.

[Jenny E]

Sorry to hear this sad news, Trina

[Mrs Frizz]

Memories are forever Trina and forever you will cherish them.

Thinking of you.

[Lianne]

Hi Trina ...Sorry to hear of your loss, it's hard losing someone special at any time. Thinking of you at this sad time.

[Erica Lasham]

Big hugs to you both, sorry to hear of your loss. May your happy memories keep you strong.

[Delys]

Oh heck Trina that is awful..so sorry to hear about your mentor. Big hugs from me and Penny said it beautifullly.