I don't think the title of my blog post adequately describes the book I've just finished. "Message to my Girl" Dr Jared Noel with David W Williams.
I've read it over two days, squeezing it in as much as I could over the time I have amongst the everyday.
A lot of kiwis will have already heard the background to this book/life (put simply...a mans journey through cancer, and all the hopes, dreams, positives and finally ending), but to read it in more depth and take in Dr Jarred Noel's personal thoughts brings it to a whole new level. It had me crying (alot), and it has me thinking. That to me is always the sign of a good great book.
It is one mans insight of what it means to be dying. He says often that each person will go through their own death. And we can't compare. But he gives us his insight into what happened when he was dying and what that meant to his hopes and dreams what they become, and many ideas that are associated with what he went through.
I am constantly questioning my life (I personally think this is a good thing - making sure I'm on my right track). What does it all mean? What will be left behind? For me this book answered so many of my questions with "actually, you just need to get on and do what you love. You need to stop worrying so much and do and be. And most importantly, appreciate the moment".
I know we all get told to live in the moment, to take more time to be in the now. And having been through a few times where I could have died, meant that for periods I remember to do that. But this book made me realise that everything I do and aim for is ok.
Everything that is important to me is what is right for me and that is enough. Read that again. Everything that is important to us and is what is right for us is enough.
That today is right where I'm meant to be, and if I am happy great, if not, then I can do something about it. Re dream. Re make what I want my life to be.
It reminded me that all the things we strive for and see in others, isn't necessarily what is right for us. That we have to stop looking at others in an objective way, but instead look at others with grace and mercy and hope.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it? Maybe having a death close to me recently made me more vulnerable to thinking about life and death?
But this book spoke to me in so many ways. I'm going to have to read it again. Soon. Slower, taking it in.
One of the things Dr Jared Noel talks about a lot in his book is how he always believed he was here for something big. Something that would touch people. He thought this was going to happen in the field of medicine. He said that while he was ready to die, he struggled to let go of that dream.
After reading his book, I know he has already done great things and will continue to do so long after he is gone, through is book. That he will touch many more lives than just my own.
I'm so grateful that he took the time in his last weeks to ensure his story was told.
Thank you Dr Noel, David W Williams and your families.