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April 05, 2013

Comments

Esther

So been there, felt like that - still do! Label or not a bad day is still a bad day! I have always felt this about my gorgeous boy who was diagnosed with Aspberger/Austim at 4 although I "knew" a good 2 years before that happened. He is 14 now and sometimes I do wonder how I have coped and there have been additional stresses to, of course. All I can suggest, wherever this particular journey takes you, is for you and Andy to be kind to yourselves and always remember that whatever this issue turns out to be, it is NOT your fault!!! It was truly the kindest thing any specialist said to me. xoxo

Jane Hambly

We had a similar thing happen with Jack all started when he started school .I knew from the beginning something was not right and so did he .
All I can say Trina is take one day at a time .
Jack has been diagnosed as dyslexic ,dyspraxic and has a 7% processing ability is audibly challenged too.
He is acutely aware of how this effects him . It has affected his confidence and now at 14 with all the teenage stuff going on too is due to be re assessed.
We are not alone and within our scrappy community there are other mums that have issues with child Heath too .
We are all here to bounce off Trina in anyway we can..
I want the best for my boy and that means for me he has to be understood by his teachers and happy I all ready know Jack is a very clever I was going to say little but he stands at 6ft conundrum ..

Julia Hewitt

Being understood and listened to by the teacher is a big thing. The teacher has to find "the way that particular child learns". As was motherhood - childhood is something everyone has to learn na matter what condition the child has - it is a lifetime of learning - even when playing, Making new friendships, understanding all the "little things that happen throughout the day" - it's all a learning phase that lasts us a lifetime. When the child is understood by the teacher, his/her friends/peers, parents, extended family etc - things are made so much easier. It doesnt take the issue away - but it makes it all more easier to get on with life no matter what the condition the child has. I have dealt with s few children - all with different issues - and you just have to find a way that they respond. It may be a bit harder trying to work this out as a parent - as sometimes the person on the outside of the circle can see these a lot easier. I don't know what or has has what etc, and it shouldnt matter. What does matter is the person inside. Love them no matter what. It makes you a better person. I was a secretary at Primary School and at times there were things that i noticed and mentioned to the parents - they were grateful for my comments. That helped so many of them. Just to make this clear - this DOES NOT make you less of a caring parent, it makes you THE PARENT, getting all the help, advice, ideas to do the right thing by your child. TRINA - you are amazing. You may have crap days, you are not alone. Breath and know we accept you AS YOU no matter what. If I have said something to offend anyone in this, sorry. But I want all mums and dads to know they are doing the best job they can. We are all here for each other. RANTING & RAVING can be great too. May not fix problem, but a bit of less hot air WILL HELP. and chocolate. & some scrappy time ha ha ha :)

Vicky

Love ya mate, and your posse ;)

Denise Spicer-Boyes

my eldest son was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 7 but we had been noticing "odd" behaviour for a long time before that. to have a diagnosis was good for us but he did not like having a label and so we carried on life as normal as we could but always being aware that we needed strategies in place to help him cope with day to day living. He is now coming up 25, living in another city - on his own, has had a girlfriend but not in a relationship at the moment but manages pretty well by himself. It has been an interesting and challenging journey for us and it will be for you too. Know that we are here for you and sending love and hugs your way.

Janet

Trina, you are a wonderful parent and have made the right decisions. I have come across a number of parents over the years, in my role of Support teacher,who refused to accept that there was a problem and this is so difficult to accept as there is so much help available if parents and schools work together for the child.Every child is unique and special and if we accept them and love them just the way they are they will achieve and grow. My thoughts are with you as you come to terms with these changes to your life.xx

Raewyn

Wishing you and your family all the very best with this new journey/path Trina. You and Andy obviously love all three of your children unconditionally and will make the right choices together. hugs

mandyb

yip gotta be real!!!!
thats life and what we all need to handle
so share away
glad the pressie brightened your day xxx

Beverley Cunningham

I love how you keep your blog real Trina and one of the most important pieces of advice I would give to you that if the diagnosis is real make sure you push for help if you and your family need it . We have struggled for almost five years to get a diagnosis for my daughter and still are as the assessment people do not want to label her as they are concerned they will label her with the wrong diagnosis even though teachers, teacher aides and ourselves are convinced of the Aspergers label. It just Fits her social issues. Trina you know my email if you want somebody to talk to. Hugs!

Sally

Thanks for sharing this Trina. It was also interesting to read the comments too. I think as parents we need to be assertive and search for answers sometimes. If parents don't 'bat' for their own child, who else will. Yes I agree with an above comment, that sometimes parents don't want to know (perhaps due to anxiety) but knowledge is power. As a mum IKWYM about going through what your children go through. Having kids is like having your heart outside your body half the time- yet you try to keep it together for them. Take care, you will get to the bottom of it. xo

Judy

It is great to know that you feel comfortable sharing your life with us and not only the good stuff! It helps to lighten the load knowing that others care. Be strong for your child-you will cope with any changes that may come to your lives and you have us, your blog readers here for support. Take care of yourself ,as well.

Alicia Redshaw

Trina you are a good parent and the reason I know is that you care about your children enough to listen to that feeling, no matter how scary the result may be. The path is hard and the biggest obstacle is starting the journey, and have already done that. Know that you are not alone (I have three out of three, including a girl)and you are fabulous parents no matter what anyone else says. Don't be afraid to cry and keep your truly supportive friends and family close, you will need them and they will need you as your journey unfolds. Especially don't put any value into experts (and others) who claim that it is something you have done, where you live or some other way to lay blame on parents. Every man, woman and child has a purpose in this world, and a select few have gifts beyond most peoples comprehension - and those few need us as parents to help them find their gifts and talents. Take care and keep creating (it helps).

Teryl

Dear Trina,
Sending you Andy and your family big hugs and I will keep you in my prayers. I hope that you find some more answers and life with your precious family continues to be special despite the hurdles.
Take care xox

janice

Trina my son was diagnosed at age 11 with adhd best thing ever his marks went up so high at school and after 3 years he was taken off all the drugs and is now a happy confident child almost 17 who copes well, life was hard but the pills just made his brain click

Kellie

My son was diagnosed with adhd around 7yrs of age. Being given a 'label' was the best thing for me because then we knew what we were dealing with and could do the relevant research and make decisions about treatment. An official diagnosis is also important as far as being able to be prescribed certain medications, receive a child disability allowance ($45/wk) or be eligible for special support at school. I have an older son who was assessed by an Ed Psychologist as having different issues again, and now he is able to use a computer for all written work at school and be given extra time during exams. So, it's definately worth the initial stress of going through tests and assessments to find out what your motherly instincts are already perhaps telling you! :)(I recommend getting involved in a support group too, if there's one in your area.)

Topkatnz

Trying to think of the right words to say here to express my thoughts. 'I understand' sounds a little dumb because of course I am not walking in your shoes. But I do hear your words, feel your pain, know what you are saying, feel the turmoil in your heart, and I understand this post. I wish I could help but some paths we just have to walk alone, that one I know. And now I go to do all the things I know. 'Fake it until you make it' Hxxx

Bridget Larsen Australia

Sending you hugs and love across the ditch and hope you are surrounded by loving friends and family close by to help you through the tough times
xoxoxo
Bridget

Penny

In exactly the same place as you...

Pauline Parker

Finally catching up on some blogs after a busy weekend at S n P retreat. So sorry for the pain you are all feeling, keep strong and seek those answers. Dig, dig, dig your son deserves the best help you can give him. Kia Kaha

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