Gosh, that's a loaded question isn't it?
When I was little my Nana (my Mum's mum) told me that if you were rich, you might have enough true friends to fit on the fingers of one hand.
(Nana and I on her last birthday with us October 2005)
At the time, a little girl with a million friends ever swapping and changing, I couldn't believe what she said. It was incredible to me that somone would be lucky to have just 5 true friends in their life?!
As I got older and friends dropped by the wayside of life. I remembered what Nana said and I have to agree with her.
In this day and age with things like facebook around, we have hundreds of 'friends', but who are the true ones?
Who are the ones that stand beside you when you get sick? That come back to you after a fight? That will flick you an email when they know you are feeling down? Or pick up the phone or drop off a meal?
I have always been a what I call a 'pleaser'. I was always too scared to go against what people thought in case they didn't want to be my friend. I didn't realise that we can't always get on with everyone, or that we may have different expectations leading to different types of friendships. I have changed.
It left me lonely many times as I realised I gave more to a friendship than I received back. And when I went against what I believed in.
As I got older, I also left behind people who perhaps thought that way about me? That they gave more to me than I did to them. I feel sorry I couldn't be what they needed from me, but not sorry that I was true to myself.
And some people that I felt were negative influences on me. Some of them not voluntarily either.
Some of them I tried to cling to. And I find myself now years on, still sad about the friendship I've lost. The hope I had for them and us as friends. Even when I feel comfortable with the things I said, and know I did nothing 'wrong', it hurts to loose friends that I was once so close to.
Today as I sit here typing this post, I think back to the people in my life. I am thankful for the 4 people I can count on my hand as true friends today. One who I've known all her life. One I've known since we were at high school (and I thought she was trying to steal my boyfriend! LOL). One who I have known for 13.5 years and married. And one who I've known for a much shorter time that I met through scrapbooking and that is by far the last thing that keeps us friends now. People that would drop anything for me and viceversa. In fact we have many times already. They ring me up even if I haven't rung them in weeks. They stand by me even when I frustrate the living daylights out of them. They know the worst about me and forgive me for the mistakes I make and love me for the person I am. And who would be there in a heartbeat if the worst happened.
And so from that point of view, I am rich indeed. I have people I can count on. And to be honest watching the world today, this type of richness is by far the most important for me. I am so very grateful for them in my life.
I truely hope that you are rich as well!
Couldn't have put it better myself. I too was always a pleaser, wanting to be liked by everyone. it took a long time for me to figure out that I couldn't do it without compromising my own integrity and who I was. I like the saying that friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some friends are there to help you through certain events and then, when that is over, they move on to help someone else where their particular skills are needed. They are no less friends than those for a lifetime and I think of them often, but life moves on and so must they. The friends for a lifetime are the keepers, the ones who are there through thick and thin, you just know they are going to be there for you. You had a very wise grandmother and I feel she has passed that wisdom on to another very wise woman.
Posted by: Denise Spicer-Boyes | January 03, 2013 at 06:40 AM
Wow that was an amazing post. I read so many truths and similarities in there. Very wise words indeed. I wish I was closer and we could 'grow' our friendship more. Hx
Posted by: Topkatnz | January 03, 2013 at 08:24 AM
Sooo very true what you say Trina. Love your quote.
Posted by: Brendy | January 03, 2013 at 09:30 AM
Yes - an amazing post Trina - so well described and a beautiful photo of you and your Nana. All the best for 2013
Posted by: Dianne | January 03, 2013 at 09:31 AM
Wow, Trina. I can so relate to that. Brings tears to my eyes reading that post. The true friends I have - I can talk to them like we saw each other yesterday yet sometimes it can be years since we actually saw each other, but keep in touch by email and Christmas newsletters. And, like you, one of those true friends is my partner.
You come up with some really awesomely profound posts lady - really thought provoking stuff. Well done you!
Posted by: Jan | January 03, 2013 at 10:27 AM
great post!!!
friends are like seasons....some come and go...others are there through thick and thin!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx to you
Posted by: mandyb | January 03, 2013 at 12:01 PM
So true...
Posted by: Trace | January 03, 2013 at 02:34 PM
So very true. Sometimes, it just takes us longer to realise that it's quality, not quantity that counts.I read somewhere that to have a friend, you need to be a friend.
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