Some of my random thoughts

Did you see how I've had a change around here? Mmmmmm, long overdue I think. A new banner. New headers (there may be more to come!) and a general 'tidy up'. I've still got more to do so don't be surprised if you see more changes in the coming weeks.

Gratefullness - is that a word? A few of my friends will already know how the lack of this in society is grating on me at the moment. From a recent interaction with a ton of children expecting things, to my own not being grateful for a trip to the Gold Coast. To adults putting their child at the front of a half hour que to general all round selfishness. Since when did society become the 'me me me' society where your own 'rights' became more important than anyone or anything else?

Which brings me to my own kids. They get a lot. They are lucky. So 2 things.

1. How can I teach them to be grateful for what they receive? For what they take as normal? How do I let them see that some of the things they take as normal is in fact something to be treasured, not taken for granted? I would love some feedback on this if you have any ideas...

2. When we went to the Gold Coast, Andy put a 'rule' in place. If they wanted to buy anything, it had to come from their pocket money. I freaked out. They don't get much pocket money and we didn't give them any warning. "It's not fair". In fact it was very fair and a great idea.

They spent their holiday looking at things and deciding if they liked 'whatever' better than something else they'd seen. Assessing whether the $15 spent was worth it. Or were they better to buy a couple of smaller priced items.

At one point I thought they were being so good about their spending money that I'd go and buy them the 'treasured items' they were waiting to buy on the last day. I didn't. And am so glad I didn't. To see them purchase those items was fantastic. They were so proud of themselves. So pleased with what they brought.

It taught me something. And maybe that is the answer to my previous ramblings. Perhaps I give them things too easily?

I've just heard from our architect. The scale model of what our place will look like is ready. We'll get to see it as it will be. Oh . My . Goodness!!!!! So cool!!!!! Also the computer drawings are nearly done. Means we'll be able to put it to tender soon! Before Xmas!! Meaning we'll be able to start as soon as the builders are ready next year. Wow. It is finally happening. The start/stop of this project is in 'full speed ahead' mode and I just can't wait!

I've just heard the news that three Kiwi soldiers were killed in Afghanistan last night. Wow, kinda makes all the above irrelevant huh? My thoughts and prayers go to the families of those brave soldiers. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Comments

[Nancy]

New look very professional. House plans very exciting!
Andy was right. Kids should have to buy things from their own pocket money and believe it or not kids actually enjoy being 'grown-up'. Sure they will grizzle about that restriction from time to time but don't we all? Perhaps the kids could have an input where they should go for trips like the Gold Coast, cost discussed in a way related to everyday things so that they know trips cost money!! Lots of it!! Discuss cheaper options as in accommodation, airfares, activities, etc so that money saved could buy something else. I'm sure you get the picture!!!! This system works in this family and the kids have become appreciative.

[Wendy Sigvertsen]

Congratulations on teaching your children to be moneywise. Sometimes we do give in too easily to them and they do not respect us for it. I am sure their self esteem got a good boost.
This is already a start on making them grateful and appreciative. Good luck....

[Wendy Kerslake]

Trina, i know a family who have 3 children and they to are also very fortunate to be able to give their children things that might not be the norm for some families. They get 10 cents per year of their age x3 for pocket money which then has to be split into 3. One third goes into their bank for saving, one third into their money box for them to spend as they wish and one third into family tax. At the end of the year they use that family tax money to do something for those less fortunate and decide as a family how to spend it. Such a nice thing to do around Christmas when there are alot of people strugging.

[Hannah]

We did the same thing when we took our boys to the Gold Coast (although we did give them lots of notice, probably because we needed lots of time to save for the trip so we gave them the same amount of time to save their pocket money). They had saved up about $50 each, which included birthday/Christmas money, etc. Imagine how gutted they were when they exchanged their money at the airport and got significantly less in return. PLUS the transaction fee (which I managed to get waived by buying some Aussie dollars myself and having only one fee on the lot). Still, it was a good 'life lesson' for my boys, and one that I am glad they were able to learn. It made them SO appreciative of the money they did have, and like your kids, they thought long and hard about what to buy and whether it was worth it, etc. I think it taught them a lot about being grateful. I think there are always lessons we can teach our kids, even in the every day moments.

[mandyb]

i love the new look!!!

as for the kids.....we had jobs at home (and when older outside home)and got pocket money for these....that way we got used to paying for things and saving for what we wanted!!!

and we did $1 for $1...if item we wanted was $20 we paid half and Mum&Dad paid the rest!!!

Also when we went out ...we spent pocket money on goodies and M&D paid for food!!! worked for us and taught me to save for things i wanted!!!

[Michelle Whorwood]

I totally have the same dilemma Trina, Liam doesn't understand how lucky he is compared to others, we are trying to be more giving to others and actually cutting back on things like holidays! As he wasn't appreciating it. We are also getting a lot of it is not fair if Taylor gets something and he doesn't. But he doesn't see it the other way around when he gets something that she doesn't.

It sounds like you are on the right track...

Your house plans sound exciting!

[Carmel Keane]

Re. gratefulness in our children. I think the difficulty is when they are able to "have" things immediately (whether they cost a little or a lot). Your ideas around the spending on your holiday are great - as you saw for yourself. I think another key thing is not to give them everything they want immediately (and certainly not just because everyone else has them). We have made our daughter wait for some of those extra special things - and boy did she appreciate getting them when she finally was able to have them. It is also really important that they see and hear the adults in their life being grateful too.